When I First Started Doing Intuitive Readings

A little over 20 years ago, I was coaching a high school girls’ sports team. The athletic department had instructed us coaches to let our players know that if any student athletes were caught smoking or drinking alcohol, they would be summarily dismissed from the team and no longer allowed to play the rest of the season.

So, at the next practice, I conveyed the information and added that I was in energy healing school and learning how to read energy – and would be able to see in their auras if they’d broken the rules, so to take it seriously. It was an idle threat because I would never intentionally violate someone by looking into their aura like that without their permission, but the kids were very intrigued that I could see things and all started asking me what I could see in them.

A little aside: people so badly want to be seen, truly seen and felt for who they really are. People are longing for others to see beyond their surface and to acknowledge them at deeper levels. I find this to be a universal truth. We all want to be seen in a way that we feel deeply known and to feel like we are connected and we matter.

I promised the kids that I’d stay after practice and do some readings if we could please finish practice. After practice, I sat with them in the bleachers and connected, one by one, with their permission, by gazing into their eyes and just allowing what came up intuitively to come out. It was really fun for everyone. I don’t remember many details from so long ago, but I remember the kids being amazed at how accurate I was – just from sitting there quietly and tuning into them.

With one girl, I sensed that something had happened when she was in about third grade – and told her not to tell me what it was, I wouldn’t invade her privacy, but whatever it was had a very strong impact on her life and she needed to deal with that. Tears slid down her cheeks as she nodded. I encouraged her to talk to an adult in her life, a parent or therapist, and to work through this. She was clearly very moved.

I did as many readings as I could, but it was starting to get late, so I promised I’d do more the next day. There was so much enthusiasm for it!

Well, the next morning I got a call from the athletic director. Of course, some parents had complained. I was ordered to not do any more readings ever. The kids were super disappointed when I told them that afternoon at practice. I was too. It had been a great way of getting to know them better and build rapport – as well as a good way to have a positive impact on their lives, which has been what has always driven me – having a positive impact on people’s lives.

So, that’s the story of the first time I did readings for people who weren’t family or friends or in energy school with me. Connecting with people at that deeper level is something that I love to do – and feel very honored to do. It’s something that I think many of us are capable of doing if we just slow down and tune in. Try it if you like! With permission/consent, just sit quietly with someone and look deeply into their eyes. Hold that sacred space with them and tune in. See what comes up. Don’t be afraid to say what you think/feel/see/smell – any messages you get. You can ask, does this make sense to you? Play with it! The more you can let go and just have fun with it, the more you can tune in and pick up. Being too serious closes down your receptiveness.

Even after all of these years, I think it’s so important to keep a beginner’s mind. No matter how tuned in we are, we can only see what we’re allowed to see – and our interpretations of what we see (and by that, I mean visualize in our mind or feel or have a direct knowing or hear, etc.) do tend to run through our own filters, so may not be accurate for the person we are reading. So, take it lightly. Ask questions for confirmation. Let the messages be what they are – and as the saying goes, “take what works and leave the rest.” I think we all benefit when we connect more with that inner stillness and our intuitive abilities. If you want to talk more about this, I am available!

Healing Is An Ongoing Journey & Perfection Isn’t Part of the Deal

I found a bin of my old papers in the basement a few mornings ago when I was looking for a toaster oven. I brought the papers upstairs to check them out. There were letters that I wrote to my Mom from when I lived in Spain and lots of letters and writings from when I was married to my first husband. They make me so sad, honestly – how loving and giving and innocent and naive and boundary-less I was back then. I was trying so hard – and I was hurting so much. I’m not sure why these are coming to my attention right now. Maybe so that I’m aware of my boundaries when I do meet my new husband/lover/partner in life? I don’t know.

I drew “Challenge” later that morning in the Angelic Messenger cards. “You are undergoing a period of spiritual initiation in order to give a specific presence and form to your dreams, hopes and expectations.
The guidance from this card suggests that you are being called to finish up old business, both physical and spiritual, in order to move forward with your life physically and spiritually. You are also being guided to relax and accept the guidance that is coming to you from your angelic teachers rather than feeling you must do everything for yourself and by yourself.”

Pretty interesting to get that right when I’m looking at old issues (old business), right? And I definitely have been feeling alone and sad – and being told to relax and accept guidance feels helpful and soothing to me.

“The true challenge in your life involves your willingness to confront your own inner demons and to allow your deeply-felt dreams and aspirations from your spirit to surface into your life.”

Boy, I feel that. I feel like I’m looking at my inner demons closely right now – the feelings of being abandoned, of being powerless, of being more trouble than I’m worth, of not being enough, of not being at choice, but rather being stuck – it’s all looking at me in the face right now. It’s not comfortable – even as I recognize them as not even true. I’m also still sitting with allowing myself to remember/connect with my spirit’s longings. I remain in a bit of a fog as I wait for my dreams/purpose to clarify themselves for me.

The card then talks about initiation as being a part of a sacred ritual for those entering an important spiritual passage. It talks about trusting the Universe to guide you and provide for you – all messages that I feel are relevant for me. I’m not sure where I’m being guided – but I hear these words to trust. “You will need to accept a deeper and more profound insight into the nature of your life.” Is that what I’m getting from reading these old passages?

“You have not failed, but you are being sought to acknowledge the power of the sacred in your life and on the Earth. You are being asked to trust the Universe because you are awakening to dreams, visions, and spiritual understanding that will serve you well in this life.” Interesting to read this when I’ve been sort of mumbling to myself the past few days/weeks how I’ve “failed at everything” in my life – how I’m basically a complete failure in every area. (I’m not usually so mean to myself – I’ve actually developed a mostly very loving relationship with myself, but every once in a while, the old “beating myself up” tapes run.)

Under the Spiritual Opportunity of this card – it says, “You no longer need to live without, or at the ‘bottom of the barrel,’ seeking only the dregs or leftovers from life. You are made of the essence of perfection, and you are being encouraged to overcome resistance from inside yourself, or from others, and to give your dreams a chance to grow in the world.” I’m going to need to sit with that thought for a while. I can feel it pulling me toward wholeness and healing. I’m willing to let go of resistance and attract my good to me. I’m also willing to accept money into my life, letting go of the harmful ideas I’ve carried that my giving/helping is only “pure” if it is done from the heart without financial gain or motivations. That’s simply not true – and my work deserves to be rewarded. I deserve compensation for my time, my talents, my skills and abilities. I’ve invested so much time, money, and effort in learning the healing techniques and other skills I’ve picked up along the way. Healers need to get paid too!

As I was making dinner the night previous to finding those papers and drawing the “Challenge” card, I was looking out the kitchen window at the beautiful evening sky, the colors and the clouds. I was chopping vegetables and thinking that, honestly, I didn’t much care if I kept living – that I didn’t want to be a burden and I didn’t really have much hope for my life. I was thinking of all of my previous failures in life and in business and in relationships – and just feeling like I didn’t have expectations of things getting any better – or even ever being okay for me (which is kind of crazy because I’m in an ideal situation for me right now in many ways – I love living with my family, I love living in Colorado, I really like this house, I’m happy in my room – I just know that I can’t stay here forever – and the prospect of leaving with no real prospects – that was making me feel like giving up, like my life was over – like I’d failed at everything). And then I looked up and saw a beautiful rainbow in the sky – in fact, two beautiful rainbows – and I was like, it’s a sign that things will work out for me – to keep the faith. I went outside and took pictures. I remembered to breathe and to stay in the present moment. Everything is good here in this moment.

The next morning after the rainbows, I found those old papers, which showed me not only the mistakes I made when I was younger, but also my resilience and how far I have come in the years since then. Then I drew that Angelic Messenger card that told me I’m not a failure – and that things would work out. Isn’t that an interesting synchronicity? And that’s not all! The first pin on Pinterest that morning as I sat down for breakfast was, “You are getting so many signs. Trust it.” Yes, I trust it. It’s not always easy, but I know. Deep down, I know.

Healing Stones and Crystals

When I was diagnosed with cancer a little over five years ago, a friend of mine gifted me that Rose Quartz healing stone (above). It joined my circle of healing stones (below) as part of my healing rituals and meditations.

I was away from home, so I made a make-shift altar and gave myself time and space to heal. I re-read several Louise Hay books and I wrote a notebook of my own healing affirmations that I read daily. I prayed for healing and for guidance – for myself and for the medical team handling my case. I was (and am) beyond grateful when the surgeon told me he thought they got it all.

Altars don’t have to be fancy to be effective. Creating a sacred space to engage with the spiritual dimension is more about intention than anything. When I was away from home, I simply made a small stone circle and lit a couple of candles. At home, I have a more elaborate altar (below).

Healing stones and crystals, meditations, and affirmations remain an important part of my life, allowing me to feel grounded and balanced – and to return to center when I get pulled away and lost in drama/fear/worry. They bring me comfort and help to calm me when I feel scared or agitated – which is particularly helpful to me in these uncertain times.

There are lots of good books about the energies and properties of different stones and crystals. If you’re looking for something to do, maybe look into what’s available and experiment and play a little. See what you feel. It’s fun – and for me, it has been healing as well.

The Healing Power of Love

Most of us have some awareness of the healing power of love. Often, when we think about that, we think about directing love outward – toward others. I want to talk a moment about the healing power of directing love inward – toward ourselves. Two of the most profoundly impactful healing practices that have helped my life have been: 1) learning to look into my own eyes in a mirror for 5 minutes and meet my Self there and tell myself over and over again, “I love you,” and 2) writing love notes and letters to me.

I’ve always been good at offering love and acceptance to others. I haven’t always been good at being kind to myself – but I’ve improved at that so much over the years that I’m almost never critical or cruel to myself anymore. I started by thinking, if someone I deeply love were going through this or had made this mistake, what would I say? Then I’d write those thoughts to me. Something as simple as, “Hey, I know that was disappointing and not what you were expecting, but I love you unconditionally and I trust that things will work out for the best for you. I believe in you!” Such a little thing, really – but it had a big impact on me and my life.

So, I’d like to invite you to start by writing a love note to yourself. Take some time and consider yourself the same way you would consider your dearest friend. You can write as many as you like – don’t worry about getting it “right.” Just express love for yourself in all of your different aspects. Maybe collect a series of love notes. Get in the habit of offering yourself love and support this way, no matter what is going on in your life.

What this is about is loving ourselves completely – not expecting perfection or even “goodness” – but loving the darker, more broken parts of ourselves too. Claiming our wholeness and our unconditional love for ourselves. If you choose to write yourself a love letter, be sure to include ALL of you! Read it every once in a while, particularly if you’re having a down day and could use some support – and a reminder that you are loved. Maybe even read it and meet your eyes in the mirror after every sentence as you do so. Have a conversation with that precious soul that is looking back at you. Be sure to say, “I love you.”

An excerpt from my love letter to me: I love your spirit. I love your good heart. I love your kindness. I love your tenderness. I love your lack of perfection. I love your impatience. I love your anger. I love your frustration. I love your loneliness. I love your authenticity. I love your insecurity. I love your strength. I love your weakness. I love your vulnerability. I love your courage. I love your fear. I love the risks you take. I love the way you hide in order to regroup. I love the struggles within you. I love the victories you claim. I love the defeats that you survive. I love your independence. I love your neediness. I love you through all of your ups and downs, all of your joys and worries, all of your laughter and tears. I love the stress you hold in your body and I love the ways in which you release your stress and allow yourself and your body to heal. I love the complications and contradictions and paradoxes within you. I love how you are constantly learning and growing. And I also want you to know that you don’t have to change a single thing to earn my love or to be worthy of love. I love every fault and flaw that you have. There is nothing in you that is unlovable. You are completely lovable in every single way. I love your full humanity. I love every bit of you that you let be seen and every bit of you that you keep hidden. I love the parts of you that you have discovered and the parts of you that you have yet to discover. I love you in every moment of your past, your present and your future. There is nothing that is, nor could be, a part of you that I would not love. I love you. All of you. Unconditionally and forever.

Synchronicities Delight Me

I have no doubt of the spiritual nature of life because my life has very clearly been a series of synchronicities. Not that everything’s worked out the way I would have wished or wanted all of the time – but there have clearly been signs along the way that show me that I am on the right path and that my life is guided, sometimes whether I’m paying attention or not. With some frequency, these synchronicities absolutely delight and encourage me to trust and have faith that Life is, indeed, looking out for me.

I had a series of synchronicities right before I moved from Florida to Colorado. The timing of friends driving by just when I’d gone outside to get something – so I got to say goodbye to them. I mean, what are the chances that they’d be in the same spot as me within a 1-2 minute time frame? One minute either way and I would have missed them! It happened frequently. I’d just smile, look up, and say, “thank you!”

Today, something even more improbable happened. I had a request for a copy of my social security card. No problem, I knew right where it was – in my little red wallet I keep in my purse with my driver’s license and other cards. Only when I went to grab it – it wasn’t there!

Here’s the thing: I have kept my social security card in that little red wallet for I don’t know how long – years and years! I can’t imagine it being anywhere else – and if I had moved it, I would have definitely put it in the big envelope where I keep my important papers. I mean, I had to replace it a few years ago, so I know damn well I’d be super careful with it!

Well, it wasn’t in my wallet … and it wasn’t in the big envelope. I couldn’t imagine what had happened to it. Had I dropped it when I pulled out my driver’s license or credit card? Was it lost? How on earth was I going to deal with getting a replacement now – in the middle of Covid? I looked in my car in case I’d left things from my purse or wallet in there in an effort some forgotten day to travel lighter. Nothing.

I cursed the stress of moving. I’ve moved 3 times in the past 5 years, this last time across country. In addition to changing careers multiple times and/or working multiple jobs. In addition to dealing with cancer (gone!) and a fall that resulted in two broken arms (yes, at the same time, plates and screws in both arms – not fun!). Oh – and a bankruptcy when the dream that I was trying to make come true with my patented invention crashed and burned. It’s been a white-knuckle ride for years, slamming right into this pandemic. But how could I have lost my social security card?!? (Can you sense the panic and overwhelm that was building up in me? It’s challenging to capture it in words – but this little thing was the proverbial straw pushing me over the edge.)

The only thing I could think to do was look in the boxes being stored in the basement of the people kind enough to give me shelter right now. I found two boxes marked “desk” and brought them over by a chair. I sat down and looked through the first box. I found some things that were useful (trying to keep a positive attitude that this was happening for a reason), but no social security card. Dejected, I grabbed the other box. Whyyyy is this happening to meeeee? My stress level was starting to move off the charts. I found a little journal that I’d kept in my center desk drawer, forgotten/ignored for a few years.

I flipped through the journal and started reading. Interestingly, I was writing this journal at the time I was reading The Untethered Soul for the first time – in April of 2017. I mentioned the book specifically – and some lessons I’d taken from it. As it so happens, my women’s group is about to have a discussion about this book, so I’ve just started reading it for the second time this past week. Weird, huh? What are the chances? I wonder what message that journal has that was so important for me to see? Maybe something to look at with fresh eyes as I read the book again. Or maybe the message was just to be aware that I am being guided – that I am surrounded by angels and guides – that I will be okay and that everything happens for a reason. I mean, these are precarious times – and it’s nice to have a reassurance like that, you know?

After glancing through the journal, I pulled a stack of loose stuff out of the box – and my heart jumped with hope when I thought I glimpsed my social security card amidst the stack. I sorted it slowly, one by one – and there it was! Somewhere that it absolutely did NOT belong – and I truly cannot imagine myself being so careless as to put it there! What a relief to see it though! I’m honestly not sure that I did put it there. It’s not impossible, but improbable. I think maybe it was put there – not to stress me out – but to give me the opportunity to see how connected things are and how amazingly things can all work out! My card is now safely back in the big envelope of important papers – and now I’m going to keep reading The Untethered Soul. I think it’s got important messages for me!

Hi Mom!

A few weeks after my Mom crossed over, we had a celebration of her life at her house where my family and I had lived with her and taken care of her the last few years of her life. I set up an altar of sorts on the dining room table, putting candles and pictures and flowers all around. It was a beautiful day of remembrance of a woman we had all loved dearly and who had touched all of our lives immensely with her love, humor, playfulness, and joy in life.

The next day, we went to the movies with a friend of ours who was staying with us from out of town. When we got home from the movies, I walked by the dining room table, smiled at pictures of my Mom, and went upstairs for a nap. My friend and my child went to watch TV in the back TV room and my then-husband went to the front TV room.

When I came down from my nap, I was walking by the dining room table and noticed that the candle in front of where my Mom used to always sit was lit. I asked everyone if they had lit the candle. Everyone was like, no – it’s lit? My visiting friend, who is also very psychic/intuitive looked at me as we exclaimed together that my Mom had lit the candle!

Mom has given me lots of signs over the years that she’s still around, watching over us. I’ve felt her so closely that it’s impossible to put into words. She’s appeared in every psychic reading I’ve had since her passing 12 years ago, always with messages for me. I can often hear her whispering to me, offering words of love, guidance, and comfort. I know her love and presence still exist. Even so, I miss her physical presence immensely. I’m grateful, though, to know and feel that she’s still around. I regularly reach out to her and just say, “Hi Mom! I love you!” I am grateful to feel her love beaming back at me.

Welcome to My Metaphysical Playground!

Ah, the metaphysical! It has fascinated me since my first encounter with a psychic at age 18. I’ve read countless books, hung out with and been friends with psychics and astrologers and healers, taken classes in energy healing, Reiki, healing with crystals, psychic readings, and more. I’ve owned a health food store for 8 years, been a massage therapist for 24 years, and specialized in Myofascial Release for 14 years.

I’ve played with sending distance healings to friends and relatives and a few clients with good success. I even sent distance healing to my grand-dog – and the problem resolved the next day!

I’ve collected and played with Oracle cards and pendulums for the past 38 years. I’ve honed my skills of intuition and paying attention to Guidance. Right now, my Guidance is telling me to offer my gifts online, so I’ve set up this website. I’m interested to see where the path goes from here.

There’s often a temptation to take ourselves very seriously in this human life, isn’t there? I am reminded with some frequency to lighten up – that we’re just playing. I’m not a “healer” – we may allow energy to flow between us and that energy may facilitate energetic pathways that allow the body’s natural healing abilities to manifest … or not. It isn’t scientific. I don’t know what Life has planned for you … or for me, for that matter. I just follow my Guidance in the moment and do my best.

I believe in angels and guides and otherworldly beings. I believe in healing light and love. I believe in things greater than can be measured by anything of this world. I love playing in this realm of possibilities and expanded consciousness. I’ll be writing about different experiences, intuitions, and inspirations that I have as I travel along my life path. I’ll share some of the more fun, interesting, touching things that I have experienced over the years.

If you’re interested in energy healing, Reiki, or psychic/intuitive readings, please click on “Home” at the bottom of this page. Please be sure to read the Disclaimers page. And if you feel so guided, come play with me!

Tuning In

We all have them – moments of intuition and/or inspiration. Sometimes, it’s a quiet whispering that says, “this way, not that” – sometimes it’s a much louder, almost screaming intuition, “get out of here!” Sometimes it’s a voice, sometimes it’s just a certainty that we feel inside.

Intuitions and inspirations come to us dressed in various guises. Learning to recognize them for what they are, learning to tune in and pay attention to them, rather than be distracted by the louder, seemingly incessant demands on our time and attention, can be a challenge – to say the least.

I’ve had a little more time than usual to slow down, to sit in meditation, to pay attention to the signs – the still small voice, the lifting of my heart with joy, the energies that flow within and around me, the awareness of guides and angels supporting me. This deeper connection has felt like a gift. It’s also given me the nudge to start this website and offer the gifts that I may bring to the world here online.